


Thunder, feel the thunder (lightning then the thunder)

by somethingstomyself



Series: Better Together [2]
Category: Amar a Muerte (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-21 09:05:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18140186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somethingstomyself/pseuds/somethingstomyself
Summary: Thunder is the sound caused by lighting, it’s caused by the sudden expansion of the air in the path of the electrical discharge. It's just air expanding and that's nothing to be afraid of. Juliana hates them anyway.





	Thunder, feel the thunder (lightning then the thunder)

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for the mistakes, I'm trying.
> 
> Let me know if you like it!

 

 

 

_I was dreaming of bigger things and I wanna leave my old life behind._

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

The sharp cracking sound of thunder shocks her awake, it scares her so much that she jumps out of bed. Not completely sure of what happened her first instinct is to make sure Juliana’s ok. El Chino is half sitting in bed, dazzle with a hand under the pillow, most likely grabbing the gun he keeps there.

 

The high-pitching cry she hears cuts the tension and puts them in motion. Lupe goes to see her baby but El Chino just relax and goes back to bed, “Lupe, go shut up that baby, I have work tomorrow,” and just like that he rolls over, not bothered with the screaming child.

 

Lupe hurries up, the shoutings are more loud by the second. She gets to the crib, the baby’s red faced with big tears rolling down her cheeks, fussing her little arms and legs, kicking and screaming. Lupe picks her up, hugs her trying to sooth her but Juliana’s too upset.

 

“Shh, Juli it’s ok, it’s ok,” she tries rocking her, “mommy’s here, it’s ok now, I’m here baby,” hearing her mother's voice calms Juliana a little. She stopped the screaming but when another thunder resonates across the trailer, shaking it with its force and it scares Juliana even more. She starts screaming so loud that her little lungs can’t keep up and she begins to have trouble breathing. Lupe begins to panic and El Chino’s shouting from the other room, complaining at the noise isn’t helping. His yelling only upsets Juliana more.

 

Lupe tries to calm herself first. Taking a deep breath, she goes to the other side of the trailer, so El Chino stops complaining and goes back to sleep. Sometimes Lupe prefers him asleep or out of the trailer because he tends to make things worse with Juliana. She doesn’t understand why he gets like that. He can be good. Lupe knows he can. He’s kind with her when he tries but it looks like he doesn’t care to make an effort with his daughter. He gave up before even trying with Juliana and Lupe doesn’t know what went wrong because he was hopeful to being a father. Sometimes she wonders if it is because Juliana’s a girl and he’s still that stupid.

 

She sits by the window, hugs the baby to her chest and starts rocking her but Juliana won’t calm down. It breaks Lupe’s heart not being able to help her. She feels so lost and useless in these situations. Juliana is such a good baby, she doesn’t cry much and when she does she’s easy to calm down. Usually hearing her mother’s voice is enough to soothe her but there are times where Lupe feels so out of depth. She feels like screaming too.

 

She’s a terrible mother, she can’t even calm her daughter during a storm. If only her mother were here, she would know what to do. Lupe’s so alone, “I’m scared too Juli,” she murmurs, rubbing the baby’s back. It never really bother her until now. She can endure the hatred of Americans. She turns a deaf ear at their snarky remarks and sneers, ignores their hostility. She’s used to it because there’s stupid people everywhere, especially if you’re poor.

 

So Lupe knows how to deal with that from a young age but she doesn’t have a clue in how to raise a child. She’s painfully aware of the space that separates her from her mother. She has never felt the distance from home like she does now. Lupe doesn’t realize she started crying too until the sob chokes her up.

 

The day Juliana was born was the most terrifying day of Lupe’s life. El Chino doesn’t like hospitals but he insisted on being there with her. He was scared but he kept saying that everything will be ok, trying to calm her even when they both knew that he didn’t really believe it. What did he know about giving birth? About raising a baby. It petrified Lupe because she didn’t know either. This poor baby was doom.

 

The birth was horrible, she kept thinking how unfit she was for motherhood and how unfortunate this baby will be but the moment she laid eyes on Juliana everything stopped. Looking in her eyes Lupe got it. She understood in that moment that nothing else mattered anymore. It didn’t matter how incapable she felt or how unprepared they were because her daughter’s wellbeing surpass everything else. As long as Juliana is ok everything will have been worth it.

 

She brings her feet up and puts Juliana in her lap, “I know Juli, I know,” they are both crying but seeing her little face calms Lupe, it reminds her what’s important, just like it did that day. It soothes her, “it’s ok Juli, I’m here, we’re together. Just you and me.”

 

Juliana still crying and Lupe laughs, drying her tears. She doesn’t understand how someone so ordinary and simple like her could make a baby so perfect. Life’s so unfair sometimes. She’s never had much but her mother taught her that hard work and kindness are the most important things. Money isn’t constant, especially to people like them, but if you worked hard, you may get enough not to worry about it. And kindness is a way to live by, life’s hard enough already so there’s no reason for you to be rude to others just because.

 

She learned from her mother to focus on the little things life gave and not so much in what it didn’t. She has a beautiful healthy baby, a husband whom she loves deeply and for Lupe that’s enough. It may not be enough for El Chino but she’s not delusional to think it would change for them now, “I’m sorry that you ended up with me,” she apologizes to the sobbing baby. Juliana deserves so much more, “I’m sorry that I can’t give you something better.”

 

Lupe has made her choices in life. She chose to follow El Chino to America. She chose to leave her family and friends behind. She chose this life and even though it feels overwhelming at times she’s fine with it because it was her decision. She had a say in it. But Juliana didn’t and it breaks her heart that her innocent daughter has to pay for her decisions. For her mistakes.

 

“I got you baby, I’m here,” she cleans her little face and kiss her, humming a lullaby her mother used to sing her. It comforts them both. Lupe remembers her mother’s smoky voice singing the song, her soothing hands in her face and her compassionate bright eyes, just like Juliana’s. Maybe that’s why Juliana’s eyes calms her so much. Suddenly she misses her mother terribly, “I won’t leave you Juli, you will always have me. I promise,“ she will never let her child know what it feels to be like this, so alone and lost without a mother.

 

Finally Juliana’s peaceful. She stares at Lupe with her beautiful brown eyes, “see? It wasn’t so bad, we got through it,” as long as they are together, they’ll be ok, “we have to stick together _'_ _mija_ , it’s not that scary if we got each other.”

 

She loves her husband. She wouldn’t have left her whole life in Mexico if she didn’t but she wants more for her daughter. Juliana deserves only the good things life has to offer.

 

“Someday you would meet someone better,” she murmurs, like a secret she won’t admit out loud, “someone patient to hold you through the scary stuff,” maybe if she wishes hard enough it’ll come true. “Someone that makes you laugh and dry your tears when you cry. Someone you can dance with, even if they don’t know how to,” Lupe remembers how much she used to dance before El Chino. “Someone who isn’t afraid to be silly with you, that supports you and believes in you almost as much as I do. This I wish for you, my love.” It’s a pray to the universe. A supplicate to anyone who would listen.

 

Juliana finally feels safe enough to sleep.

 

 

 

_//**//_

 

 

 

The moment he crosses the door the rain begins to pour. He made it just in time. Lupe doesn’t answer his calls and he vaguely remembers something about working late. He wanders to the fridge to see if she made dinner before going out. He flinches at the cracking sound and the trailer shakes with the blare. He’s always hated thunders.

 

There’s a flashing light that warns of a new one but the squeal in the bedroom distracts him. He carefully approaches it, flinching when the noise comes. Is louder this time and the crying gives her away.

 

“Ah, it’s just you,” he didn’t know she was here, “what are you doing there?”

 

She looks from under the covers, shaking and wide eyed, “I live here,” she murmurs.

 

He rolls his eyes, “I know you live here but why are you hiding?”

 

“I’m scared of thunders.”

 

“Why? There’s nothing to fear,” but they both flinch when a new one falls, “come on, get out of there.”

 

She’s taking too long so he tells her to hurry up. He wants to lie down but the girl grabs his hand, scare of the lighting and they both flinch when the thunder comes. Damn Lupe, why isn’t she here to take care of the kid?

 

“Come on, let’s play cards,” he hopes that would distract her. Both of them.

 

At first she refuse to let go of his hand, he tells her to stop being such a chicken and to sit on the other side. She reluctantly goes, still sobbing. He ignores it at first but with every new thunder she becomes more jumpy and her sobs more loud. He can’t distract himself like this. Exasperated with her whining he takes a big breath and forgets the cards.

 

“Come on kid, come here,” he opens his arms and that’s all the prompt she needs. She tackles him, “shh, it’s ok, it’s ok kiddo,” she holds tightly to him, finally crying, “shhh, breath, breath, it’s ok,” he pats her back and tries to calm her.

 

They flinch at the thunder, holding firmly to each other. Maybe she is his daughter after all.

 

It’s not that he really believes it because Lupe loves him but the idea has been plaguing him for a while and it’s getting harder to ignore it. The numbers don’t add up. They had that huge fight that time and it wasn’t a break up but maybe Lupe thought it was. And the kid doesn’t look like him. At all.

 

A new thunder makes them flinch and he just holds her shaking little body closer. Poor kid, of all the things she could have taken from him, fears of thunders is what she gets. He’s never been good at math, anyway.

 

There are a lot of things he isn’t good at. He thought he would be good at parenthood but the kid will disagreed. He thought they would be really good at marriage but that isn’t going so well either.

 

He still doesn’t get it and he thought about it a lot because they were so in love. Why wasn’t marriage easier on them? If love is the key to a good marriage and they had that then why is so difficult now? Maybe is the kid fault. They were kinda ok before. He looks at Juliana, still crying in his chest, so small and frail. She’s a small kid but she looks smaller now, “you have to stop crying kid,” why Lupe couldn’t be here? He’s not good with her, “if you stop I will buy you a doll,” but she doesn’t stop.

 

Was this his life now? Babysitting a girl that may not be his own.

 

It’s his damn fault, he should have known better that to fall in love. Because he did fall in love with Lupe. He truly loved her at one point. They were good for a while. He just thought it would last longer.

 

They met at school, when he was a young, handsome and charming boy that never had trouble picking up girls and she was a beautiful, kind and cheerful girl with no interest in him. It annoyed him so of course he took it as a challenge because how come she didn’t like him?

 

At first he tried to flirt every day but she was indifferent to it, instead she asked about his day and it shocked him that she really wanted to know. She wanted to be friends with him. She cared about who he was and not what he pretend it to be. She saw him, even when he didn’t see himself. They became friends. She was his best friend, and that’s why it was so easy to fall for her. He never believed in love or being in love with someone but Lupe made a believer out of him.

 

He thought they would make it.

 

“Ok, enough with the crying,” Juliana still sobbing but is not so bad anymore, “I will buy you ice cream if you stop.”

 

“Really?” at least she’s open to bargaining now, “you promise?”

 

“Yes, I promise tomorrow we’ll go. Now go sit over there and let’s play cards.”

 

It worries him that the kid’s so soft, she won’t make it here. Specially if he loses his job, like he suspects it’s going to happen. Life’s about to become a lot harder for them and Juliana crying for something so silly won’t help her, “you have to toughen up kid, you can’t cry over this stuff,” she can’t allow herself to be weak, “it’s silly, it’s just noise.”

 

“But it’s scary.”

 

“I know it is but you can’t show it,” he deals the cards, “it’s like the game. Like I taught you, remember?”

 

“Yes, I can’t show my cards with my face.”

 

“Exactly, it’s a secret,” her eyes fill with joy, “remember your eyes kiddo, they give you away,” realizing she was caught she tries to mask her delight. She presses her lips in a thin line, squinting her eyes but he can still see a little of glee in them. His smiles, she’s cute sometimes.

 

The day Lupe told her she was pregnant was one of the happiest days of his life. Their situation wasn’t ideal but they were in love. They were happy. They will be a family and he would be a good parent, not like his dad. He would be present and loving. He would be good for his family.

 

“It’s the same with thunders kiddo, you can’t show it. You can’t be weak because if they know you are weak then they win. Juliana,” at the sound of her name she looks up, he rarely calls her by name, “you can’t let them win,” he looks straight at her and Juliana nods, takes the instruction to heart just like all the other ones before. She’s a good kid, despite him.

 

He used to be so hopeful, he really thought he could be what they needed. But in the end his father was right. He was too damaged for this life.

 

Lupe enters the trailer, she looks tired but happiness fills her at seeing them together, “hey, you two!” She kiss him hello and goes to sit with Juliana, “are you winning, sweetie?” she kiss her head and he can see the relief wash over her. That’s Lupe’s safe haven, being with the kid is what fuels Lupe through the hardships of their lives. He’s jealous because he feels he lost that. He tries to be good for them but sometimes it takes too much effort to quiet his father's voice, his past.

 

She’s talking to the kid, asking about the storm and looks surprise to she hears that he helped. He can watch over a little girl, he’s not that useless. Lupe looks grateful, happy and for a moment he can see the girl she used to be. He sees his best friend and mourns for what they lost. The people they used to be. The love they used to share. They were so happy. When did all go wrong? It used to be enough. Their love used to be enough to endure this life.

 

Maybe it can still be, if he tries extra hard. Because he does cares, deep down he cares about them. He wants for their love to be enough again and to be sure of it. He wants to be able to feel it because it doesn’t make any sense, love doesn’t just go away so why can’t he feel it anymore? Where did it go? When did he lost it?

 

It can’t be just him, Lupe did something. She can’t be innocent in all of this. He can be difficult to be around, especially when he’s in a mood. He can be hurtful and a little aggressive but she's not perfect either. And if the kid’s not his then he won’t be able to forgive Lupe. She never gave him a reason for him to think so, she’s being nothing but the dutiful wife. But he looks at the kid and doesn’t feel that unconditional love he’s supposed to feel. Juliana’s smart and good at picking up the things he tries to teach her but she doesn’t look like him.

 

He likes her. Sometimes.

 

Isn’t parenthood supposed to be more than a few moments? Isn’t he supposed to love her more than this?

 

He’s never been good at math, but the numbers don’t add up.

 

 

 

_//**//_

 

 

 

The first time it comes up she doesn’t realize what’s happening. The rain woke her up and she’s half asleep looking for a glass of water. She’s surprise to find Juliana up so late in the kitchen with the table full of books and notebooks but is Juliana’s anxious energy that intrigues her. When she asks Juliana says she busy studying so Barbara attributes her jittery mood to that.

 

The second time, she’s distracted helping a client dry off their wet clothes when Juliana arrives from school. She’s in a bad mood and with the same uneasy feeling. It’s probably school again or maybe she fought with Valentina. Barbara gives her space to cool it off and resolves to ask later.

 

The third time is more obvious. She’s watching a silly gossip show, annoyed with the host when Juliana sits beside her on the couch. She feels weird and it draws away her attention from the tv.

 

“What are you watching?”

 

“Just a reporter being idiotic,” she’s carefully looking at Juliana, trying to pinpoint what’s off.

 

“The one complaining?”

 

“Yes, Maxine. She’s upset because her favorite actress didn’t win an award. Or something like that.”

 

“She sounds bitter.”

 

“She is.”

 

“And who won?”

 

“The best one, kid,” Barbara wink and switch off the tv, turning to Juliana “now, tell me what’s going on with you.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“You feel weird, are you worry for something? Did you and Valentina fight?”

 

Juliana looks offended at the suggestion of the fight and Barbara rolls her eyes because she isn’t naive, they get too stubborn sometimes, “there’s nothing wrong, I’m ok.”

 

It’s when the cracking sound of the thunder resonates in the room and Juliana shrieks jumping off the couch that she gets it. The light goes out and they are left in complete darkness. It makes it worse for Juliana, so Barbara gets up to light some candles.

 

“How long have you been afraid of thunders?”

 

“Since I can remember.”

 

“How do you deal with it?” she puts water for tea and looks for the calming herbs she keeps for bad sessions but she doubts it will work now, Juliana’s too tense.

 

“I don’t.”

 

“Is there something I can help you with?”

 

Juliana’s thoughtful for a moment, “do you play cards?”

 

“Oh, no, no,” she found a new respect for the cards and she’s a little scared to mess with them, “I read them, I don’t play with them,” Juliana’s disheartened with her answer so Barbara thinks of something else to distract her with, “come on, kid, help me with dinner.”

 

It doesn’t quite work, Juliana still flinches with every new thunder but Barbara manages to cheer her up with questions about the latest fashion show, her favorites trends and designers. She doesn’t understand much about it but Juliana loves it.

 

Barbara likes Juliana and she doesn’t like a lot of people. Juliana’s special. She knew it the moment they met. Juliana’s a good kid. Kind, gentle. Hard working. She still can’t believe Beltran had any part in making someone as wonderful as Juliana. Maybe he’s right and she isn’t his daughter because honestly, he’s an awful person and Juliana’s the exact opposite. Barbara hasn’t met the mother yet but she’s not impressed on that end either. She’s not one to judge, of course but how can you raise such a delightful person and abandon her when she needs you the most.

 

Some people don’t deserve to be parents. But Barbara’s glad for Juliana.

 

 

 

_//**//_

 

 

 

She never liked storms, it’s the thunders that upsets her. The deafening sound crawls up on her body and brings unpleasant memories of times she would rather forget. She’s definitely not going to be sleeping anytime soon, maybe some tea would help. She’s surprised to find someone already in the kitchen. Especially someone she didn’t know was staying at the house but it’s not that surprising. Valentina spends every available moment she has with Juliana.

 

Lucia enters but Juliana doesn’t see her. She has headphones on with the volume all the way up and she’s anxiously biting her nails, scrolling on her phone, “hi, Juliana, how are you?” Lucia tries to be cautious but Juliana still jumps scare when she sees her.

 

“Oh! Lucia, I didn’t see you,” Juliana takes the headphones off, “I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s ok, what are you doing up?”

 

“I couldn’t sleep and I didn’t want to bother Val. She has a test tomorrow,” she still frets, biting her lips and looking at the windows.

 

Lucia likes Juliana. She didn’t have a chance to talk to her properly yet, thanks to Eva and Guille’s interference because they don’t have boundaries when it comes to Valentina. But Lucia’s good at reading people and she can tell Juliana’s a good person who cares deeply for Valentina. Regardless of Eva’s beliefs.

 

She’s still nervous so Lucia offers tea, “are you ok?”

 

“Yes, it’s just-” she looks scare at the lighting, “I don’t like storms.”

 

They both flinch when the thunders comes, “it’s the sound, right?”

 

Juliana’s taken aback, like she was expecting something else from Lucia, “yes, it’s like- like it stays with you.”

 

“Yes, that’s exactly it,” Lucia haven’t considerate like that but is what it feels like.

 

“You don’t like them either?”

 

“No, I really don’t.”

 

They both flinch when the kitchen resonates with a new one, “do you know how to control it?”

 

Lucia smiles sadly, “not really,” she serves the tea and sit besides Juliana, “I learned to make good tea, though.”

 

“Thanks,” she’s still a little anxious, looking at the window for a new thunder.

 

“How do you manage them?” Maybe Lucia can distract them.

 

“I used to cry a lot when I was little,” she’s studying her cup, lost in a memory, “I manage to stop the crying but they still scare me,” the cracking of a new one shakes the windows, Juliana hold the cup tighter, “my mom used talk me through them,” she has a sorrow in her face that’s all too familiar to Lucia.

 

Valentina said something, not much but Lucia knows that Juliana and her mother aren’t on speaking terms. Nobody will understand complicated relationships with mothers better than her, “I didn’t have the best childhood. My mother, she-” Lucia pause. It’s so hard to talk about it but she doesn’t need to know what happened when she can see the same pain she carries in Juliana’s eyes, “I understand complicated relationships with parents.”

 

Juliana gives a humorless laugh, “that’s a nice way of putting it ‘complicated relationships with parents.’ It sounds like a nice club to join.”

 

“Maybe we are,” Lucia laughs, “we could have weekly meetings and discuss how awful our childhoods were,” at least Juliana smiles, “and I can’t think of a better activity than to complain about our parents.”

 

“I never had a club before but it seems fitting that this will be my first.”

 

“I know, I never had one either.”

 

“Maybe we can make badges.”

 

“Definitely,” they share a smile, enjoying the rare good humor that the topic brings.

 

But it last too little, like it always does and Juliana grows somber, more thoughtful, “do you think we would be able to understand it?”

 

Lucia tried to, for so long. Sometimes she looks for explanations but she doesn’t think they matter anymore, “I don’t have the answers. I don’t know how you make it better or if it’s possible but I know what it feels like. How heavy it can be,” Lucia grabs Juliana’s hand, “and I’m here if it’s any comfort. Maybe it won’t feel so heavy like that.”

 

It’s the only thing Lucia can think to offer. She doesn’t know Juliana, not really, but she doesn’t have to because she can see the same weariness and she knows how much it weighs down on you. Lucia knows the hardships life puts you through, so in a way she knows Juliana better than anyone. Lucia doesn’t know how to fix it but at least Juliana won’t feel so alone. Maybe it’s nothing.

 

Maybe it’s everything.

 

Juliana holds tight to her hand, “does it ever go away?” She sound so scare of the answer, it saddens Lucia that she can’t offer any comfort.

 

“No really, and I don’t think it has to. It’s part of who we are, what made us the persons that we are today,” Juliana seems disappointed. “It doesn’t define us Juliana, we are so much more.” Lucia never believe it for herself but she can do it with Juliana, “it’s not our fault, we did nothing wrong. _You_ did nothing wrong Juliana,” they are both crying, but it feels freeing, like letting go of a useless weight. Juliana hugs her, she holds on tight.

 

Lucia has always carried that guilt that maybe it was her fault. Maybe she did something. She keeps it quiet but it’s always there, in the back of her mind. Maybe if she could have been a better daughter or maybe if she had behave differently. A nagging thought that hunts her on sleepless nights.

 

But she can see it so clearly now. She sees it reflected in Juliana’s eyes, it’s not their fault, they didn’t do this. It’s not that _they_ were not enough, it’s that their parents weren’t.

 

“We are the lucky ones, we survive it. We are here, we got to the other side,” and it took so much from both of them, “not everyone has that chance,” Lucia strokes Juliana’s cheek, she can give her some comfort now. It’s for both of them. Juliana only murmurs a thank you, too emotional for anything else but Lucia sees that she gets it.

 

She never thought she could have this. To understand someone on this level and to be equally understood.

 

Valentina can’t break up with her now.

 

“You know, I think life has rewarded us a little too,” Lucia goes to look for a napkin, to dry their tears.

 

“Rewarded how?”

 

“It feels like a reward, somehow, that we are loved by possibly the most romantic people ever,” Juliana laughs and the mood feels lighter.

 

“Yes, I’m very lucky that Valentina found me.”

 

“She’s lucky too,” they both are, they have each other, “and for what I’m told, you found her.”

 

Juliana gets a little bashful but Lucia thinks it’s adorable. Valentina doesn’t get tired of telling the story of how they met. Juliana wants to ask something but she doesn’t know how to so Lucia gives her time and serves more tea before taking her seat again.

 

“So, Valentina got her romanticism from her dad?”

 

“Oh! Yes, definitely,” Lucia’s excited to finally having someone to share, “Guille’s more calm, he seems more serene. Like reserve in his affections and I think his mother was like that. But Valentina’s her father’s daughter. She shows her love just like him, loud and big so everyone knows it. So no one doubts it.”

 

Lucia has known Valentina for a while now. She has seen her go out with boys but nothing serious, nothing more than a couple of dates. She seemed restless, looking for something and not finding it anyone. Until Juliana. Lucia has never seen Valentina be with anyone the way she is with Juliana. It’s in the way she acts with her and how she speaks of Juliana but mostly it’s in Valentina’s eyes, “Valentina can’t lie, have you notice?”

 

“Yes,” Juliana laughs, “it’s her eyes.”

 

“They give it away, just like it did with her dad. You can always tell how they feel because of them.”

 

“My father used to say that about me, my eyes gave me away and that made me weak.”

 

“You’re not weak Juliana, you are honest and that’s a good thing.”

 

“It’s hard to unlearn some things.”

 

“I know, I’m still trying.”

 

Juliana looks like she wants to say more but they stay quiet, enjoying the company and the understanding that brings. It’s not like they are friends but they share something. They have a comprehension about the other that no one else has because they didn’t suffer it. They can enjoy this moment without expecting nothing more from it. It could be just this, now or it could be a friendship, later. There’s peace in knowing that they have each other.

 

“It’s a good tea,” Juliana tells her with a smile.

 

“Maybe I can teach you, someday.”

 

“I would like that.”

 

The storm sounds far away and the thunders can’t be heard.

 

 

 

_((+1))_

 

 

 

After too many cups of tea and a jaw cracking yawn, she drags her tired body to bed. She was so worried for the storm she’s exhausted now that it’s over. But it feels much better too. Lighter. Not so heavy. Like a shared weight. She knows that nothing is fix but at least now she has someone to talk about it when it feels too much. She’s not so alone anymore.

Valentina’s curl in herself, still asleep so she makes her way to the bed and tries to get under the covers as quietly as possible but the moment she settles arms hug her from behind. Valentina cuddles her, nuzzling her neck and releasing a happy sigh. It’s like she was waiting for Juliana.

“Where did you go? I couldn’t sleep without you,” her voice is rough from sleep.

Juliana snorts, “clearly.”

“I’m serious, don’t mock my love,” Valentina’s lazily stroking Juliana’s belly.

“You were snoring.”

“I don’t snore,” she’s drowsy but Valentina’s stubborn nature would keep her arguing over this. She does snore, a very cute snore and only when she’s really tired but she won’t admit it. Even when Juliana has filmed proof that she does.

“Let’s go to sleep,” Juliana resolves because Valentina needs to rest, she has a big test tomorrow. They settle more comfortably, hold more tightly.

Juliana thought she would fall asleep right away but Valentina’s mind won’t ease until she knows, until she makes sure, “you were gone for a while, is everything ok? Are you ok?”

“Yes, I’m ok,” trying to calm her and lull her to sleep Juliana caress her arms, dragging her fingers up and down Valentina’s arms, “we’ll talk tomorrow.”

She accepts it, loosens again and with a quiet murmur confess, “I don’t sleep well if it’s not with you. I can’t have sweet dreams if you are not near.”

Valentina has always been very honest with her feelings, she’s very open and direct so Juliana never doubts it. This hushed words aren’t new to Juliana but she loves when Valentina’s sleepiness make her affections into these cute confessions, whispered in the dark only for them to hear. Only for them to know.

“I’m here now.”

“Ok,” the short answers tell Juliana she’s about to fall asleep, happy now that Juliana’s here.

“We can rest now.”

“Yes.”

“I love you.”

“Love you too.”

“I like Lucia.”

“That’s good, love.”

“And I think she likes me too.”

“Even better,” Valentina mumbles her answer but Juliana can feel the smile on her. She falls asleep with a smile on her face too.

She never thought her life could be like this. It’s not the impossibility of it but it never occurred to her it could happen, this sort of happy ending. Like the fairy tales kind. She found someone that loves her so purely and fully, without conditions or demands. It feels magical. She now has a person that would wake up just to know if she’s ok, if she needs anything. Juliana never thought it could be like this for her but maybe she was hoping all along. Wishing for a happily ever after.

Lucia’s right, it feels like a reward. To be loved by Valentina is the best gift life could give her.

She wakes up to insisting kisses that demand her attention. It shows how tired she is that she didn’t hear the alarm that Valentina always complain for her to shut down. She’s reluctant to wake up but Valentina’s soothing words and warm kisses make it better.

“Morning,” her voice feels heavy with sleep, “you are cold.”

“Hi, finally,” Valentina has a beaming smile, her cold hands keep in place at her waist. She looks suspiciously chipper this morning, “I had breakfast already and I’m about to head out but I need my good luck kiss first,” it’s then that Juliana notice Valentina’s already dress for the day.

“I let you sleep last night,” her grumpy response.

“And I’m very grateful for it but now I need my good luck kiss so I can crush this test and then we can have the whole weekend to ourselves.”

“Are we leaving already?” Juliana tries to get up but Valentina holds her firmly.

“No, you can stay here. Sleep and Chivis’ll have breakfast ready for when you wake up.”

“Val, no. I don’t want-”

“Please stay,” she’s pleading with her big blue eyes. Valentina knows she can’t say no to her when she’s like this.

“I have to go to work,” Juliana tries in vain and Valentina pulls the blankets more securely over them.

“That’s why you have to stay and have breakfast first and the driver will take you after,” Valentina knows she will get her way so Juliana just concedes with a kiss.

“So, what happened last night?” she asks, head propped on hand and playing with Juliana’s hair.

She distracts herself looking at the window behind Valentina. The rain beats heavily against the glass, “I don’t like storms.”

Valentina can tell there’s something more to it but she won’t push, “next time wake me up and I’ll distracted you,” she’s being playful but Juliana feels like teasing too.

She turns back to Valentina and with a half smile says, “well, you did promise to be more helpful with my needs.”

“Juliana” she whines, hiding her red cheeks in Juliana’s neck “I have to go, you’re not being fair.”

Juliana smiles, traps Valentina with her leg and holds her firmly in place, “maybe you should have woken me up earlier,” Valentina’s only answers are open mouth kisses under her jaw and Juliana knows that if they keep going Valentina won’t make it in time, “love, you have to go.”

“But you started it!”

“We’ll have the whole weekend,” she reminds her but Valentina gives her a playful bite and it makes Juliana so happy that she can’t help the burst of laughter.

It’s definitely a reward.

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. It's not my intention to excuse El Chino. He's an awful person and a terrible father but I didn't want to make Juliana's childhood more hard. I would like to believe he wasn't so bad at first and that he had his moments with her. It's not for his sake but for Juliana's that I wrote him like that.
> 
> 2\. Would I write Lucia in everything? Maybe.
> 
> 3\. For Lupe's lullaby I highly recommend Cordeiro de Nana by Thalma Freitas and Ma cochi Pitentzin.


End file.
